Silence

Let me start by saying the support and love I have felt from my online community is more than anyone could imagine. I am so thankful for each and everyone of you and if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be able to do what I am most passionate about. Some of you are like family to me and if it wasn’t for social media we wouldn’t have a blossoming friendship. So I just want to first start by saying thank you.

I am really good at making new years resolutions that I don’t keep. Haha.. who else is with me? This year however.. I am serious folks! I want to be more intentional with everything that I do.

In my friendships, my relationship with Jared, the choices I make, and the way we celebrate life.. sooo… with that said…. I will be taking a break from facebook, twitter, and instagram. You may see me pop-up every now and then with a tweet or photo but for the most part I will be off. While Facebook has helped me stay in contact with those that I wouldn’t normally talk to, I have allowed it to make me become unintentional with some of my friendships.

Do you remember the days when you met up with someone because you wanted to know how they were? Or when you picked up the phone to share exciting news with just them instead of sharing it with the 1200 of your friends at once on the internet?

At the end of it all- I need to narrow down my notifications and re-prioritize. Emails, texts, voicemails, instagram, twitter, facebook, yammer, path… it’s overwhelming and I think I just need a break! I am not able to be a good friend through all those outlets.

If you need me: Call, email, or stop by our house. I love you my online family and I will be back soon with a refocused Eryn.

30 days is going to be tough!

All Things Music: Holla@Eddymusic.com
All Things So Worth Loving: Eryn@SoWorthLoving.com

bigger than an idea

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Here are a few things that helped me through this journey when starting a company. This is not anything new. Not rocket science but more of a reminder and encouragement as you explore who you are, what you love, and what you are going to pursue. Here are my Catalyst notes. (click here) There are so many great points and valuable information if you are leading a team from of the most influential successful businessmen.

1. honesty

Ask yourself “what do I want to do”… no but really.. with out limitations what is one thing you would do if you could do it?
Allow yourself to be vulnerable.. not necessarily to people but to yourself. Expose your ideas through thoughts and journaling. Uncover what you might have buried and be honest with your thoughts and desires.

2. Teachable Spirit

You dont know everything and that is ok. I think sometimes it’s initially our gut reaction to want to pretend to know everything while exposing our ideas and thoughts. No one likes to be corrected which is why we become defensive, but there is nothing more frustrating than a seasoned leader talking to someone that pretends to have everything ironed out. It wastes their time.
Be a sponge. Ask questions and dig to find truth and wisdom.
APPLY the advice you receive from those you admire and look up to.

3. Determined

Don’t take “no” personally. You will have a lot of no’s come your way. As Mark Burnett says “no means next opportunity”.
Push through obstacles. One thing my supervisor from my old job taught me is that I should always be able to find an answer and dead end roads don’t exist. If you can’t get an answer from the person you’d like, explore other options. There are always options.

4. Brave

Put your idea and passions out there despite opinions. “The more you explore your passions outwardly the more you grow internally.” Just like Jon Acuff says.. “haters are inevitable”.
You don’t have to have it all 100% figured out. I have come across so many talented people that have worked on things to get it 100% perfect and never moved forward on it. I love what Mark Burnett says “if you have to be certain about everything you won’t do anything”. You will learn from your mistakes and will continue to grow. Through that your work will get even better!

Thinking About What You Are Thinking

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“Whatever is lovely think such things”

Have you ever thought about what you are thinking? We can get easily deceived that the source of why we are miserable is because of something else than what it actually is. We can be tricked into thinking that we are unhappy due to what is going on around us (our circumstances) but the actual misery is due to what is going on inside of us. (our thoughts).

Have you ever thought to yourself, “if ____ was like ____ then I wouldn’t feel this way and I would be happy. That can be true but temporary. We feed these emotions and this thought pattern becomes second nature. I guess I am trying to say is that we’ve got to stop feeding ourselves excuses. It’s enabling us to face the truth. For instance…

If you follow me on instagram, then you know Jared and I moved to the country just for fun back in May. In the beginning, I saw it as an adventure and I enjoyed the space, the beautiful skies, the fresh air, and the lightening bugs at night. That was temporary happiness for me. June and July were awful months. It was like a switch turned on and hell broke loose in my mind. I had so many internal wars and realized I had stuffed a lot of things from my my past that were leaking into other areas of my life. I thought those things were avoidable, I didn’t give light to any of my insecurities that I should have, and I was consumed with many levels of fear.

Immediately, I blamed our move for the emotions that started pouring out of me. Jared and I would have countless conversations that involved me saying “we need to move back to Atlanta! I’m 2 hours away from some of my closest friends, you are an introvert- I am not, I NEED to be around people, civilization, and a TARGET!”

Naturally, I would say “I NEVER want to relive that again” however it showed me strength that I didn’t know existed inside of myself.

Was the move really the cause of my fear, anxiety, insecurities, and panic attacks? No way! It was just the trigger. In the course of two months, I had shoveled shit that was 25 years old & rewire behavioral habits that are still a work in progress. We took ourselves to a place of peacefulness and somehow I found hell in that peacefulness. Starry nights to me looked like scary sounds in the woods. I couldn’t enjoy it until I faced the truth. The move didn’t contribute to my unhappiness. My thoughts did. It was being ok with complete silence and away from distractions that helped me work through junk. It’s only been a few months since this realization and with the support of my husband, friends, and a counselor I have come to find I am thankful for June and July. I learned– ”It’s not my circumstances that will make me happy, it’s my outlook and response.” This is a daily reminder to myself.

What is the truth? What is making you unhappy? Face the truth and be determined to get through it. Lean in on the people that are strong when you are weak.

Back In The Studio

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I recorded a rough track yesterday and I can NOT wait to get going on this song! There is something so beautiful about seeing a song at its raw form on paper and being created into a piece that might empower and impact lives. I wrote this song with one of my best friends Mindy and it was our first time ever writing with each other and I can’t express HOW EXCITED I am to share with you soooooon!

You ready for this?

exploring who you are is ok!

If you are like me, you have probably experienced many different looks through out the years. I can tell you I have had many looks that consisted of studded belts, polos, khakis, and gages. That’s right..I could stick a pencil through my ear.

I grew up experimenting with my looks. “Why not?” was my mentality. I went to a school that required every student to look the same, so it could be that it was part of my natural instinct to rebel.. but I’d like to think that I am on a constant journey learning more about who I am and what I like. While experimenting, people definitely had their opinions of what beautiful was for me. I’ve had several people imply that I was only beautiful if my hair was long. How lame is that? Is that all beauty consists of? If my hair is long?

I LOVE my hair long and I LOVE my hair short, I love that some of my strengths consist of building others up, I love that I have my dads feet.. (weird) and I love that I am finally at an agreeance that who I am is good, normal, and ok (Even through the crap life throws at me) Why all the love? Because.. I love myself. There is no arrogance in that statement. Love is grace giving, it’s patient, kind, it’s willing, it’s not mean or rude.. and I want to treat myself that way. Others opinions will not interfere with the respect I want to have for myself.

I felt the constant pressure growing up, that what others think is socially acceptable and what their definition of beautiful is, is something I should strive for. I think that is something we can all relate to. If you grew up in an environment that taught you that loving who you are is wrong, it’s hard to break out of that mind set. Rewiring behavioral tendencies is INCREDIBLY HARD but so important to address.

So my challenge for you is to explore who you are. Not just with your physical apparence but who you are internally. Challenge yourself for the next week to not compare yourself to anyone. Anytime you start to feel that voice that wants you to compare.. hush it with a compliment to yourself. Explore your passions, be honest with who you want to become, and write these two questions in your journal and think through all the aspects of your life:

What do I want to do that I have allowed the fear of other opinions to affect it?
With out anyones opinions.. what do I want to be KNOWN for?

important papers in leopard pants

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/////////////////

Today I received some important information and signed some important information wearing gold leopard pants. I am SO PROUD TO SAY that “So Worth Loving” is OFFICIALLY word-marked!! No matter the font, style, size, or color.. it’s safe and sound. I have been saving up for this to happen and it’s now finally official. I can sleep at night knowing some big company CAN NOT take my love & my baby away from me.

This next year is going to be an exciting one. No plans other than taking over the world with my incredible team!

New Tattoo

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I’ve been with this guy since I was 17, married at 21, and totaling at 8 years. I am happy to say we have gone through the ups & downs. It hasn’t been perfect and if it was then someone wouldn’t be speaking! There was baggage we had to go through, heal from, trust again, and forgive each other for and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone but him. Plus, I never thought I would ask my husband to help me shave my head and he would do it so lovingly haha

I got a tattoo of his glasses in honor of my love and commitment to him. I love him and I am glad that:

we fight
we make up
we love
we give grace
we battle selfishness together
we are completely different from each other
we don’t strive for perfection that can’t be sought
and that we have tattoos (hehe)

Mastering My Emotions

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I read these daily thoughts in a little book that is a compilation of women writers. Above is a quote from September 2. I found this “ironic” because it is exactly what I am going through. Learning to forgive.

While I am in the process of facing these things called insecurities, I am trying to forgive myself and those who have caused these annoying little guys to hang around. Some of the things I am working through are issues that have accumulated over 9 years. I have allowed them to settle in and make a home, though I didn’t even realize they were settling in until I started addressing my issues with fear & anxiety.

I thought I had handled all the sadness, bitterness, and self-consciousness that evolved from an unhealthy relationship. And while there is something with-in me that would love to just word vomit ALL OVER the person that has caused pain and let them know what they did was wrong and unjust, I know it wouldn’t do any good. When someone is set in there ways of not wanting to grow or to not take personal responsibility- it’s like talking to a wall. My words would go in one ear and out the other.

There are going to be people in your life that you will never satisfy. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO they will have their opinion and a quick tongue on who you are and what you are doing with your life. I’ve said this before and I will say it again because it’s something that is incredibly hard for me to live by, “I can’t change their perspective or response but I can control how I respond to it”. Forgiveness is not an emotion but an act of will.

I will not allow all the jabs, manipulation, and hurtful words control my emotions. It’s ok for me to be sad, and hurt but it’s not ok for it to settle and make a home. So I tell myself “I will not respond out of anger to those that have caused pain but out of grace.” THAT IS SO HARD but I know that if “I don’t master my emotions my emotions are going to master me.” I dont want to to sit around and let bitterness settle. That will affect other relationships that are so dear to me.

Who are you trying to forgive and what have you learned about yourself along the way?

Endless To Do Lists:

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I am trying to knock out to do lists but then I start to think up other things to add to it and then I get excited about the new things and then it becomes ONE GIANT *HUGE* to do list.. How the heck do you stop your brain from thinking up more things to do…